Relationships: as much as we like to keep them simple, easy-going and rewarding, they can become exactly the opposite of that. I am in no shape or form a 'relationship expert' (what is that anyway?), but I am a full-time human being, and a very sensitive woman who values close relationships significantly. Not until recently I realized the key factor that encouraged me to either continue a relationship, or completely give it up.

The question of giving up on a relationship, whether it is involved with romance or not, is a very difficult matter. You can lose sleep over it, and it can take you down a guilt trip easily. Based on personal experiences, I can share with you one simple and very straightforward mindset that I use when I have to decide whether to continue fighting for a person, or simply drop him/her off and move on with my life.

I repeat: this sort of decision is not easy, and I have suffered with the difficulty of it numerous times with so many types of relationships.



First of all, when you are faced with thoughts of leaving a relationship, cutting a person off, or simply putting less effort, I want you to think about the amount of love you have for the person. I am a full-supporter of increasing efforts to maintain value relationships that are based on respect and love. 


HOWEVER, with growing up I came to notice that in order for me to give 100% into a relationship I must be in the best relationship with myself first. For me to love another, I must love myself first. For me to befriend another, I must be friends with myself first. It is as easy as that. The more you are in conflict with yourself, I believe you can put that negative energy into your relationships easily, which quickly affect your partner/friend/sibling/etc.

This ideology brings me to the central point of this post: Give up on a relationship if you're already giving up on important things to you JUST BECAUSE you're not giving up on the relationship. To rephrase this: ask yourself, what am I giving up in my life (that's important to my well-being) in order to NOT give up on this relationship, or stay in this relationship?

Of course there are exceptions, sometimes you may have to give up certain career choices, or travel options, or freedom with time in order to fully commit to a certain individual. That is up to you to decide. However, I know that as soon as I have to give up certain values, standards and/or lifestyle habits that are important to my well-being, I would certainly consider giving up on the relationship.

Like I previously stated, it is crucial to be in good terms with yourself in order to live a successful and happy partnership with somebody else. One of the most important relationship advice I received was: always put yourself first.